Seven psychological allegory

 A) The growth of fable: the growth of apple trees will never do a
an apple tree, and finally the result was.
The first year, which end up with 10 apples, 9 were taken away, they receive a . In response, angry apple trees, so from the off, in turn, refused to grow. The next year, it bears a five apples, four were taken away, they receive one. by 20% this year! doubled. months, they receive 10.
likely, it was taken away 99, they receive one. but it does not matter, it can continue to grow the fruit of the third year-end 1000 hh
fact, how much fruit not the most important. The most important thing is the tree to grow! other apple trees grow into towering trees, those who have hindered its growth will be weak to negligible power. really, do not worry so much about the fruit, the growth is the most important.
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you are not a work of pulses have been cutting their family?
first job, you're talented, spirited, believing that Sap quickly knock you a few, perhaps, you made a great contribution for the unit that no one seriously; perhaps, but not only by verbal emphasis on affordable; may hh short, you feel like the apple tree, bear only enjoy the fruit of a small part of their own, and falls far short of your expectations.
So, you are angry, upset you, do you grumble hh the end, you decide not to work so hard, to do to match their own income. a few years past, as you reflect on that now you have not just the work of passion and talent of the time.
You have to stop the growth of the.
such stories abound around us.
why make such mistakes, because we forget that life is a journey, a whole, we think we have grown over the , now is the time of the fruit. We too care about temporary gains and losses, and forget the most important growth.
Fortunately, this is not a Jin Yong novel of self-off passages. We stand ready to give up such do, continue to move toward growth path.
Remember: If you are a working group, met do not understand management, management or error management brutal boss or corporate culture, then, to remind ourselves about, do not because of anger and disgruntled And cutting off the meridians. No matter what, have to do an apple tree will never grow because you always grow important than how much money each month.
(b) motivation Fable: children for whom The group of children playing
frolic in front of an elderly, sounds a great deal. A few days past, the elderly unbearable.
So he came out to 25 cents for each child, said to them: to become very busy here, I feel a lot younger, this money gratitude. 15 cents. He explained that he had no income, only .15 cents less for some it can also, children are still happily away.
the third day, the old man gave only 5 cents for each child .
children with rage, Whom are you two types of motivation: internal motivation and external motivation. If the internal motivation to act in accordance with, we are masters of their own. If an external motivation drives us, we will be swayed by external factors to become a slave to it.
In this fable, the calculation is simple for the elderly, who will the children's internal motivation external factors, so it manipulated the children's behavior. fable old, a lot like your boss, boss? and cents, like not like your wages, bonuses and other kinds of external rewards? < br> If the external evaluation as a reference frame, our emotions can easily fluctuate. because we can not control external factors, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, let us dissatisfied, let us grumble. dissatisfaction and complaints, etc. Let us suffer negative emotions, in order to reduce the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common method is to reduce the work effort.
A person can form an external evaluation system, the most important reason is that parents like to control him. Parents too prefer to use verbal rewards and punishments, material incentives and other control children, not to ignore the child's own motivation. Over time, the children have forgotten their original motives, what are the external evaluation of care. school, he has forgotten The original motivation for learning curiosity and joy of learning mmm; work, he forgot to work the growth of primary motivations mmm happy, supervisors and income fluctuations in the evaluation of his work has become the largest source of pleasure and pain.
Remember: regular external evaluation system is a hereditary, but you can break it, from now on cultivating their own internal evaluation system, to study and work into Planning fable: a piece of paper folded 51 times
Imagine your hands are a big enough white. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So, How high is it?
a refrigerator? floor? or a skyscraper so high? not, a big change, the thickness more than the distance between Earth and the Sun.
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to now, I take this parable asked a dozen people, only two people said that this may be less than the height of an imaginary, while others think that is a maximum height of tall skyscrapers.
folded height of 51 such terror, But if only the 51 white stacked it?
the contrast was shocking to many people. because there is no direction, lack of planning in life, like the 51 White simple stacked. do today do this, tomorrow little bit of that, every time there is no link between efforts. In this way, even if each work is done very well, they have your whole life for nothing but a simple superposition.
Of course, life is more complicated than this fable. Some people, life finds a simple direction and firmly to do so, they reached the other end of life unattainable level. For example, a friend of my direction in life is English, he efforts spent more than a decade, only the memory of the word reached the amount of ten million and more, at this point to reach the average person can not match the height.
also some people who have very clear direction in life, such as open Gongsi boss, so they need a lot of skills mmm professional skills, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on. They may try to do some Zhege in the beginning, and try doing that, none is particularly proficient, But in the end, open the company boss in the direction of these seemingly scattered the previous integration efforts together, and this is a complex folding of life, rather than a simple superposition.
Remember: the power of sight than watching but not more useful strength.
now, the popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as Success, that we rely on some miracle of life can be saved. However, in my opinion, Dongguan Heng psychological edge Counseling Center counselor Mao Zhengjiang more correctly, br> They will see that the shadow of their own crazy.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always close their eyes. Toby approach is always stay in the shadows of other things.
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This fable shows that a little mental problem is how to become more psychological problems.
can say that all are derived from psychological problems distortion of the facts. What facts? mainly those that make us bitter negative events.
because of the pain experience, we do not want to face the negative events. However, once occurred, such negative events destined to be with us for life, we can do them up but is repressed into the subconscious to go, this is the so-called forgotten.
However, their subconscious will still continue to play a role. And, even if we Forgotten was the fact that bad again,UGG boots clearance, the pain associated with these facts will still attack us, let's somehow sad, and can not be suppressed. the pain further our efforts to escape.
development to the end, the usual solution is to these two: either we like the same cat Tom, completely distorting their own experience of life in all the important facts are ignored negative; or, we, like kittens, like Toby, simply join their pain, their own everything both were very bad, since everything is so bad, that make their most sad event is not so original pain.
clouds mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of drug users had a painful experience. The reason they did drugs to make themselves to escape the pain. It's like hide in the shadows, painful truth is a devil, the devil in order to avoid this, simply to sell more of the devil himself.
many alcoholic adults, they have had an alcoholic and abusive father, father survive a lot of torture. to forget the pain, they learn the same way.
addition to these visible error methods, we mankind has invented a myriad of ways to avoid all kinds of pain, Freud referred to as psychological defense mechanisms of these methods. too painful, these defense mechanisms is necessary, but worse, if the distortion of the facts of psychological defense mechanisms too hard, it will bring out the more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multiple personality, and even schizophrenia.
really only one way to reach health mmm face the pain. face the pain of people will from the pain by many unexpected gains, they will eventually become the life of the party of wealth. planning to make good use of existing capacity than tap the potential of the so-called more important. the wealth of life.
one of the most important psychological law is, no matter how painful, you are no escape. you can only go to face up to it and resolve it, beyond it, and it finally reached a settlement. If you own a temporary shortage of power, you can find help, find friends and relatives for help, or seek professional help, people you trust go with you face these painful things.
Rogers was a U.S. psychologist the most lonely person, but when he resolved to face this fact and after he became a true master of interpersonal relationships; American psychologist Frank (see the newspaper on January 7 of the A brutal and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mother, but when he challenges the fact and, ultimately, from the heart to forgive his parents, he became an expert in this area treatment; Japanese psychologist Morita horse was being serious neurological patients, but he challenges the fact and finally through the invention of Morita therapy hh them the most painful fact of life eventually became their most important asset. you can do the same.
(e) Action fable mmm crabs, owls and bats
crabs, owls and bats to cram on the habit. a few years later, they graduate and obtain a doctorate. However, the crab is still rampant, night owls are still sleeping in the daytime activities, the bat is still hung upside down.
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It is even famous master of a fable, and its meaning is simple: action more important than knowledge.
used in mental health, this fable is also thought-provoking.
Psychology called profound knowledge. But no matter how more knowledge of psychology help a person does not automatically become more healthy. Actually, I know some people who had studied psychology for many years, they learn one of the purposes of psychology is to own home, but after so many years learning, their problem remains.
reason why this happens, a very important reason is, they do not personally, just far away as the knowledge of knowledge, knowledge, and not into their own life experience.
one of my friends like psychology, has been more than psychology, believes that is not sensitive, not suitable for Psychology. But the fact is that speculation is not correct. He is not sensitive enough, but He has a very big advantage: to know a good knowledge immediately in their own lives to do it. In this way, the knowledge that becomes a distant real life experience, he does not can help themselves and help many people.
If we say that the quality of high sensitivity is a Tiancai, then Gao power is more important the quality of genius.
can come out of this parable is also another meaning: Do not expect too much the magic of the mysterious psychological treatment. The most important force is always in your own body, the mysteries of knowledge, the potential development of mysterious, dazzling success and so forth, are far inferior to the power of your own body has been important. We used to go outside to find the answer to someone else looking for strength, the results have forgotten the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge can not save you automatically.
Lianzhu punch line if some hits you, if some of the words or a new creed inspired you. Well, these other people's words and experience are just the beginning, more importantly, a good knowledge you think you really use in your own life to go.
Jewish philosopher Martin. Buber's words, I have always considered the most important:
you'll have to start. If you do not love to go deep in a positive life, if you do not own way to reveal the meaning of life for themselves, So for you, life will remain meaningless.
hiding in a given time, miss some time with the palm; hiding in a given location, also stand to miss a standing antecedents path, let I care about people.
(VI) to give the Fables:
bees and flowers withered roses, the bees are still hard suck, because it takes before sucking off from this little sweet. But now in the flower , the bees suck the venom.
bees know this, because the venom bitter taste is the big difference with the previous. So, the bees anger, however, breathe on it the whole world looked up to complain about, why taste changed?!
Finally one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, fly a little higher. At this time, it found, withered roses around the flowers everywhere.
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This is a fable about love, is a young language teacher of the true sentiment.
some time, her falling out of love, painful, and always wanted to talk about me, I hope I can give her some knowledge of psychology help. We have some time, but almost two months later, the total time they can not happen to get together.
the last time about her, she said: ;
She had just returned from Jiuzhaigou back. disappointed love is still plagued her, let her Shenqing trance, can not enjoy the beauty of Jiuzhaigou. inadvertently, she noticed a small flower on the honey bees are. that moment, her mind like thunder and lightning appeared in one sentence: Only human beings are so foolish, she of course the bees in this sentence refers to herself. that moment, her insight to give up the truth out. In the past, she wanted me to help her out, but in fact, the long wings in her own body, She can fly fly.
give up is not easy to give up love, especially painful. because love is when our young copy of parent-child relationship. young children, no matter from which side, leaves Mom and Dad do not open. If a complete denial of his father and mother, and that means death for him, this is the ultimate injury and fear. We have experienced more or less been denied parents the pain and fear, So, when the parent-child relationship of love mmm copies once again we experience the pain and fear, our emotions can easily become very bad.
However, compared to love and parent-child relationship, there is a huge difference : a child, nothing we can do, all parents have the final say; But now we grow up, we have the power to choose their own destiny. can be said that a child, we do not have wings, bee, but now we With a pair of powerful wings.
However, when deeply in love, we will return to childhood, we forget that they have a pair of wings to fly. and so we ourselves realize that, the love is not then is the parent-child relationship will be automatically copied, and we love to get free, there is the power to give up.
Remember: Love is two things, two completely equal, independent and human dignity thing. You can work, but not that hard for you there will be results, because another person, you can not determine.
So, no matter how much you care about the time love, if another person determined to leave you, please respect the his choice.
And also remember, you are no longer a child, are left with a painful torment. you have adults, you have a pair of powerful wings, you can fly out of a relationship has become poison .
hiding in a given time, miss some time with the palm; hiding in a given location, also stand to miss a standing antecedents path, let me worry about the people.
(g) close fable : unique Rose
Little Prince has a small planet, the planet suddenly had a tender and beautiful roses blooming. In the past, unknown on this planet only a few flowers, the little prince had never seen such beautiful flowers He fell in love with this rose, carefully nurtured her.
that for some time, he thought, this is a unique flower on earth, only his only planet, other places do not exist. < br> But now that he came to Earth and found that there is a garden just the same as 5000 of this flower. At this time, he knows, he is just an ordinary flower there.
the beginning, This finding, to the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand, although there are many roses in the world, but his planet tis is still unique because that rose, he poured over, to her cover over the glass globe, with the screen protection before, except her body caterpillars, but also to listen to her grumbled, or boasted, hh silence listening to her words, and he tamed her, and she tamed him, she is his unique roses.

This is a French classic said: intimate relationship Ten has several lovers, is no longer a rare thing too. But I know who these promiscuous, no one is empty. they do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest.
who desire stronger, more intimacy for the relationship is not interested. , they will quickly lose interest in this intimate relationship. the stronger the desire to conquer, the faster the rate of loss. force.
However, the relationship between the United States, almost two inputs is the extent and degree to be tamed. When two people are naturally going into, naturally, be tamed, the relationship will become a life nourishment, so that a person Life becomes more filling and better.
However, no matter how close. The Little Prince is still Prince, Rose is still a rose, they are still two individuals. If you let the little prince rose travel, or travel the little prince Fei the roses with me, they have to stick together, the relationship is no longer enjoy, but will become a burden.
Remember: both a close and mutually independent relationship, better than a thousand general relationship. such a relationship, we will save hopelessly out of loneliness is the most important in our lives as a salvation.